Home

Advertisement

Customize
About this Journal
Current Month
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930
Nov. 15th, 2009 @ 02:01 am What the hell? Where did these balls come from?
Current Location: Probably should be in bed
Current Mood: determined
Current Music: Now That The Love Is Gone - David Guetta
Okay, I'm going to put this down partially for posterity and me having brass balls for once in my damn life but partially because I need to look at it every day to remind myself to actually follow through with it. This is actually more of a "for-me" entry so if you don't want to read it, I understand.

"I fucking EARNED my stripes in that damn game. I earned the right to be guarded. Believe me, being emotionally shredded sucks. It sucks HARD. It sucks more than anything else in the world. But after the pain goes away - and it DOES go away - you have amazing stories. Besides, rejection and having love set your nuts on fire are two totally different things. Don't get me wrong. Rejection sucks. It's a kick in the teeth and it makes you question everything. But it doesn't even compare to going deep into someone, going fast and hard (NO sex puns thank you) and before you start to really get comfortable, getting torn out and stomped. But you know what? I'm learning now - finally, MONTHS after the fact...that it's not necessarily a bad thing. Because I LEARNED. I learned that I'm NOT okay with being one of two or three guys with a girl. That I'm NOT okay with playing the game so the girl can win. That I'm NOT okay with just letting myself drop without a rope to hold on to.

In a little over a week, I am moving to Nashville. I will be totally, completely socially isolated. And I DAMN sure am not fucking going to let my neuroses and my anger at life and my cynicism and bitterness and all that BULLSHIT I have surrounded myself with like a fucking blanket stop me from creating a new life for myself. I am NOT. I am twenty-three fucking years old. If I keep running and hiding like a bitch, life's going to treat me like a bitch. So I'm going to take chances. I'm GOING to take risks. I'm going to put myself out there and if I get hurt, who fucking CARES? If I have learned ONE thing this past year is this: let yourself be available. It is scary. I know. I know. But you know, two months ago, Vandy wasn't on the radar. Nashville wasn't on the radar. And yeah, moving there might be a HUGE mistake on my part...but I'm making it on MY terms. Fact is, I probably won't do anything but crash and burn in Nashville. Doesn't mean I'm not going to give it a shot. There are new people there with new experiences waiting to be had. The beautiful thing about moving is that you can be WHOEVER you want to be in the new place. So I'm saying fuck pessimism, fuck anger and fuck bitter. Optimists - AND pessimists for that matter - don't have a grasp on the actuality of life. Embrace the good, solve the bad, understand the difference. "

Just a note for the friends that read this: if I ever sink into the dumps as I have for...well, the majority of four years, point me back here and make me read this. Grazie.

Have a good one!
About this Entry
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Nov. 13th, 2009 @ 10:25 pm So much to do, so little time
Current Location: Alone at the condo
Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: Far, Far Away - Five Iron Frenzy
So...uh...in two weeks I won't be living in Atlanta anymore. Surprise!

It's true. A combination of lack of funds, lack of job and lack of opportunities has driven me to the decision that I will be moving up to Nashville with the family on the 23rd.

That's cool, you say. You have a couple weeks to get it all worked out, you say. FUCK NO. I'm also in the process of studying for the GRE so that I can perhaps - against all reasonable odds - get into Vanderbilt for their Creative Writing program. But surely, you ask me, it can't be that hard to get in, right?

12 students total, 6 first year and 6 second year, 3 prose and 3 poetry in each year and I don't do poetry. You do the math.

It's a very weird feeling right now, honestly. To know that by this time two weeks from now I will be living in Nashville away from all my friends and the city I have loved dearly for four years. But change, as in all things, is inevitable. I only hope that I have made a good impact on this city and my friends.

Oh and if anyone thinks I'm not going to be visiting...you're out of your damn mind.

Have a good one!
About this Entry
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Oct. 2nd, 2009 @ 07:37 pm ...the times, they are a'changin'
Current Location: Atlanta, for now
Current Mood: groggy
Current Music: Right Side of the Bed - Atreyu
Nashville, Tennessee: home of country music, the Tennessee Titans and...my family? Actually, yes. That's the biggest news coming out of me right now. My dad interviewed for and got a much better job with the United Methodist church and will be relocating, with Mom, Phoenix, Thor and Hermes in tow, to the South. It's a huge deal for the family and a huge weight off of our shoulders.

That's the good news.

The bad news is that job-wise I am up Shit Creek not only without a paddle but the canoe itself is leaking. This week, I was not only rejected by Oglethorpe for a job that would have been perfect and would have kept me here for a while (how the FUCK do you get experience if you NEED it to GET it?), but was also informed that another, part-time AV job I applied for didn't want me. As of right now, I literally have no options before me. Every job I've applied for has either rejected me outright or has declined to get back in contact with me. I'm literally at a loss for what to do.

So yeah. It's been basically a miserable five months since graduating. The birthday party was fun. I love my church. I've gotten Adam addicted to NCAA Football 2010, which is a great success. There are some alright things going on. They just tend to be overshadowed by the massive shitstorm that is my life.

But hey, you know what? It's not going to beat me. It is NOT going to beat me. I said it three years ago and I'll say it again. Bring it on, life. My back may be bad but it sure as hell can take whatever you throw at me.

And now, I'll disappear for another few months, only giving sporadic, tiny updates. You know. The way things usually go.

Have a good one!
About this Entry
6 comments
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Sep. 22nd, 2009 @ 03:42 pm Mah bones, they are a creakin'
Current Location: Older but not wiser
Current Mood: content
Current Music: Zelda music from the common room
And somehow, by some act of my loving God, I have survived twenty-three years. It's a miracle, to be sure.

I'm taking today to just BE. I'm ignoring no work. I'm ignoring single. I'm ignoring a lack of any discernable future. I am enjoying my birthday because, damnit, I deserve it.

Have a good one!
About this Entry
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Sep. 1st, 2009 @ 03:39 pm The more things change...
Current Location: V.S.
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: And So It Goes - King's Singers
Four years.

Wow. Four years since my Facebook profile changed. Four years since I've been in anything legit.

Four. Years.

My, how the time flies when you're...having fun isn't right. My, how the time flies.

Have a good one!
About this Entry
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Aug. 20th, 2009 @ 03:10 am August Entry
Current Location: Up too fucking late
Current Mood: distressed
Current Music: Nothing
The following is LJ Cut because it's me being a bitch, per usual. Oh, and nice to see you too.

( Fuck All )

Annnnnnd that's enough of that. Have a good one!
About this Entry
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Jul. 30th, 2009 @ 11:16 pm College Quotes
Current Location: Still at Villa Sonoma
Current Mood: creative
Current Music: Ai No Corrida - Uniting Nations
Alright. I think the time has come for me to clear out my Facebook profile of a good chunk of what could be considered filthy, so I'm going to finish it with one massive post of all the quotes I have locked up from all four years at OU for you lovely people. As always, vote for your favorite. And here...we...go.

( Four Years Compressed )

Whew. Four years is a lot of quotes. But I love them all.

Have a good one!
About this Entry
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Jun. 30th, 2009 @ 06:10 pm Update ho!
Current Location: Condo condo condo
Current Mood: existentialist
Current Music: El Tango de Roxanne - Adam and me
I am not a ho, fuck you.

Sorry for that. Wow, so I really haven't updated much recently but that's because there's not a whole lot to tell.

The festival was fantastic. It was an absolute joy to see something that I wrote being performed and actually looking GOOD! Awesome experience, end of story.

Other than that, it's honestly just been looking for work. I've gone around to tons of places and still no luck. It's getting to be pretty discouraging, honestly. Hopefully something will show up soon.

I've also started work on a new play: Robo-Copter Ski Patrol. It's just as badass in theory as it sounds. Too bad I've made almost no progress on it.

Love life's in the shitter. But then again, the oceans are big and wet. Some things are just constant truisms.

Oh, and Adam scuttled off to Dalton for a few days this week, which is cool. I just have problems being alone for too long a period of time. I get all thinky and moody and who'd have guessed it, I am now too! But...okay, you know what? Never mind. It's the same bitchy shit I put on here every other entry or so. I have no goals, my life lacks direction, I don't know what I want, yadda yadda yadda. Whatever. Just copy/paste those other ones and it makes sense. Forget it.

Eh, sorry to be a downer. And sorry for not posting in over a month. I'll work on those.

Have a good one!
About this Entry
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
May. 21st, 2009 @ 09:14 pm Y'okay, I guess I should give an update
Current Location: Villa Sonoma
Current Mood: bored
Current Music: Stiletto - Billy Joel
Wow, alright. Well, here goes. What has all happened since I last left you?

Well, for one, I graduated. That's right. I am now an alumnus of Oglethorpe University. It's still incredibly weird to say that.

Adam and I got a condo over by Perimeter at Villa Sonoma. It's really nice and I'm definitely happy with it. I'm also very happy with my nice big bed that doesn't fuck my back.

I'm still job-searching. It's not going as well as I would have hoped. Eh, something'll come up.

Adam and I also A) Got Drunken Rewrites accepted to the Horizon Theatre's New Young South Playwrights Festival, so we'll be doing that the beginning of June and B) Finished the PlayBoys trilogy. Good creative progress there.

Marley's 21st was last night. Hell of a lot of fun. Although, I gotta say...not one of my proudest mornings. Waking up at your old school in a vacant dorm room, using your own shirt as a pillow is a sobering experience. Not on my A-list of repeat-worthy things.

I also was drunk enough to clear the air with Katie's boyfriend, which I think helped me out a bit. I also was unaware that Marley was listening and that me doing that made her really happy. Yay for unintended birthday presents.

On an entirely different note, dreams can be bitches. They walk you right to the edge of really having a good experience then veer off into another tangent altogether. It's like if you're watching a movie and right before the big reveal, the director chose to instead shoot a turtle riding a rhino then go with that the rest of the movie. So irritating.

I'm sober tonight. I think that's a good thing.

Nothing really else to report right now.

Have a good one!
About this Entry
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
May. 4th, 2009 @ 10:42 am The Golden Doom, Pt. 3
Current Location: In the dorm room...never going to another class
Current Mood: weird
Current Music: Sorrow Song - Charon
So it's official: I have no more college anything left in my life (unless grad school becomes tempting). No classes. No assignments. No tests. No papers. No finals. That is IT. It's a weird feeling that hasn't quite sunk in. Eerie in its own way. Well, since I actually don't care one way or the other if anyone comments on this story, I'm going to keep it going.

( Then )

Freakin' finally. Enjoy.

Have a good one!
About this Entry
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Apr. 26th, 2009 @ 10:26 am The Golden Doom, Pt.2
Current Location: Switching between LJ and the NFL Draft
Current Mood: complacent
Current Music: Andalucia - Crooked Fingers
After an exhausting night/morning of papering, I feel as if I deserve to reward myself a little bit with writing the next part of this creative exercise. Enjoy.

( Next )

There we go.

Have a good one!
About this Entry
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Apr. 23rd, 2009 @ 06:05 pm The Golden Doom Pt.1
Current Location: Overlooking a paper due tomorrow
Current Mood: creative
Current Music: Too Late - Asia
Hey all. Not a lot to update about today but I AM feeling a little creative today and before it dies a miserable, painful death doing actual schoolwork, I'm going to use it. No intro or anything. Just right into the story. Enjoy.

( Storytime )

This will continue for a while so I hope you enjoy!

Have a good one!
About this Entry
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Apr. 20th, 2009 @ 06:26 pm Wow, a good weekend for once. So weird...
Current Location: Not doing a paper I probably should start on
Current Mood: pleased
Current Music: Vendetta - Astral Doors
Yes, it's true. I actually have had a pretty good few days. I'm not even in a foul mood, which is insane. Why, you ask?

Well, first off, the Singers concert went fantastically well. I couldn't be happier. Vive l'Amour got a massive reaction from the crowd and Roxanne went off without a hitch. It hasn't quite sunk in that I'm done yet. I'm sure it will soon enough. But an amazing concert nonetheless.

Aside from that, the weekend was even cooler. I spent the majority of my time actually working on a film set! One of my Crucible co-stars sent out an email to the cast asking for people to help out and I took him up on it. And I have to tell you, that is definitely what I want to do with my life. I learned more in the two days on-set than I have in sixteen years worth of school. I think it's a turning point for me now. I can't emphasize how awesome an experience it was. I'm still running on a high over it, honestly. Even though I was on-set from 2 PM to 4 AM Friday night/Saturday morning and 11:30 PM to 4 PM Saturday, it didn't even feel like it was enough time. Truly an unforgettable weekend. Plus I have a few contacts now who are going to keep me in the loop for stuff they work on.

On a different note, I have literally one week of actual classes left. Don't know how to feel about that.

So what's new in YOUR world? Let me know!

Have a good one!
About this Entry
1 comment
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Apr. 12th, 2009 @ 10:24 pm Well, I'm definitely out of the rut now
Current Location: On Aphrodite
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Tonight, Tonight, Tonight - Genesis
Whew, where do I start? (Yeah, yeah from the beginning. Hurr hurr.)

Well, the big news is that The Crucible is finally over. Our last show was last night and it went really well. Although, even with all the bitching I did about the rehearsals and all that, I am really going to miss it. It was a fantastic show with a wonderful cast that I would love to work with again. A lot about it is just...weird though. It's weird that it was my last show as an Oglethorpe student. It's weird that I'm now friends with people older than my parents. It's weird that I have a...well, weird kind of thing with a costar (not the one most of you know about). I don't know. It's kind of unsettling but at the same time, it's a relief to be able to breathe.

Not that I have that much time to breathe anyways, especially since the Singers concert is this weekend and Adam, Katie (yes, that Katie) and I have to finish up our tango lessons so we can rock the shizzy with El Tango de Roxanne. Yes, more work I have to do.

Moving on from that, holy fuck Friday night. Nine people. One elevator. One SHUTDOWN elevator. An hour and a half. 12:30 AM. Sweating walls. Ungodly heat. Stripping down half-naked. Drunk. Full bladders. Peeing in a Yuengling bottle. It was INSANE. Just absolutely insane.

Oh yeah, and Cerberus died this week. He keeled over late Wednesday night and died. So I have replaced him with Aphrodite. She's an HP desktop built into the twenty-two inch touchscreen. She's sexy and I love her already.

And then today was something important...what was it again? Something about Jesus Christ saving my soul. That sounds about right. Happy Easter all.

Updates forthcoming.

Have a good one!
About this Entry
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Mar. 26th, 2009 @ 03:36 pm The State of the World As It Relates to Me
Current Location: Writing Center
Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: Beginnings - Chicago
Alright, so let's get to this. I haven't done a lot of me writing lately and that should change.

The end is near. I can see the end of my college career looming on the horizon, coming towards me like a bullet train derailing in the middle of a busy road in Japan. And honestly? It scares me. It really does. I don't generally handle uncertainty well in my life. I like knowing - or at least having an idea of - what's going to happen in the future. I even just like having the options set out in front of me so I can create contingency plans for each one of them. But right now? At this point in time, the last concrete moment of my life will be the morning of May 9th. That is IT. That afternoon, my entire life is ahead of me and I have no direction.

Suffice to say, I'm peeing myself silly over here over this. I've been looking for jobs left and right, but I don't to tell all of you how the economy is right now. Not a lot of people are hiring. I won't bore you with details but the uncertainty again is scary.

Even beyond this, Crucible rehearsals are picking up speed. The show should be pretty good, but it's just a matter of getting stuff done. And of course, the Singers concert is right away the week after that so there's no downtime for that. Busy isn't the word for it.

But you know what the good thing is about all this shit going down? The one redeeming factor in it?

I couldn't give a SHIT right now about being single. I don't have the time, the energy or the money to handle dating. It's nice.

Okay, I lied. I do have the energy.

Anyways, further updates later with other developments.

Have a good one!
About this Entry
1 comment
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Mar. 15th, 2009 @ 08:54 pm And yeah, update time again
Current Location: Nekkid and waiting for traveling
Current Mood: excited
Current Music: Crawling in the Dark (Acoustic) - Hoobastank
No excuses. The LJ is dying, sadly. It's not dead yet and it never will be, given my choice. But Twitter and Dan Eats Cat Food are taking over and...what's that? You don't know of either of those? Silly me.

I'm on Twitter under the name daneatscatfood and the site is http://daneatscatfood.wordpress.com . It's a comedy blog and it rocks the free world.

Anyhow, we're hitting Myrtle Beach tomorrow and it'll rock. They have a pirate ship! I'll be sure to update when I get back. Don't go anywhere, gang. Stuff will start happening soon.

Have a good one!
About this Entry
2 comments
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Feb. 22nd, 2009 @ 10:55 pm And now, the Oscar Diary 2009
Current Location: Watching the Oscars
Current Mood: confused
Current Music: Sleeping - Rick Astley
Hey everyone,

It's about a half hour before the Oscars start and Dan, Josh, Adam and I are just sitting here playing Left 4 Dead and just shooting the shit. And by shit, I mean zombies. And by zombies, I mean pixelated representations of the real thing. And by the real thing, I mean Democrats.

With that being said, I'll be following my cue from last year, that being the live blogging. Enjoy.

8:00: Annnnnd we've started with Dan saying "I don't give a FUCK about the red carpet". Wonderful.

8:04: Sarah Jessica Parker, and I quote, said "Happily working on a project which makes me happy". Huh...who would have expected that?

8:09: Valentino is on camera. I have no idea what the fuck he is saying.

8:10: The ceremony is muted so we can watch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9O6EeEkkvrk instead. That shows where our priorities are. Click if you dare. Let me give you a hint: the video involves tits.

8:11: Yay Mickey Rourke! Let's see how insane he sounds! He's still not over his dog. Sad.

8:12: Let it be said that I would, in fact, facefuck Vanessa Anne Hudgens. What? Efron's not doing it.

8:23: Jack Black's wife is hot...wow. I guess humor really DOES count for something. Either that or coke connections.

8:24: ...yeah that reporter isn't funny at all. Jerry Lewis hasn't been relevant since he had sex with his niece. Wait, that was the dude who did Great Balls of Fire. Actually Jerry Lewis hasn't been relevant. Ever.

8:27: Alright, game time. Let's do this.

8:30. I wonder if you get up to take a piss at the Oscars if you lose your seat. Questions, questions. And here comes Hugh Jackman!

8:31: Awesome. Robert Downey Jr. applauded himself.

8:33: Hahahah! The Craiglist Dancers!

8:36: Jackman is a lucky sonofabitch.

8:38: Fan-fucking-tastic. Oh my God, that was amazing. "I am Wolverine!"

8:42: Wow, they have a nice star-studded cast(Anjelica Huston, Eva-Marie Saint, Whoopi Goldberg, Tilda Swinton and Goldie Hawn) to announce the Best Supporting Actress. The nominees are: Amy Adams, Penelope Cruz, Viola Davis, Taraji P. Henson, and Marisa Tomei. And the winner is...Penelope Cruz! I got that shit locked down! Booyah!

8:52: Nice. Tina Fey and Steve Martin are up, "writing their own script". He's hilarious. Best Original Screenplay nominees are: Frozen River, Happy-Go-Lucky, In Bruges, Milk, and WALL-E. And the winner is...Milk. Figures. Half the people in the room are happy about that. Sean Penn is still a douchebag. And "life-saving story"? Fucking what? Yay political statements! *puke*

8:59: Nice quick transit to best Adapted Screenplay. Nominees are: Benjamin Button, Doubt, Frost/Nixon, The Reader, Doubt, and Slumdog Millionaire. And the winner is....Slumdog Millionaire. That one was kind of a gimme. Good on him though.

9:02: And here comes Jennifer Aniston and Jack Black. Interesting combo. "Bet on Pixar!" Awesome! Now we have a recap of the animation from 2008. Interesting, again. Nominees for Best Animated Feature are: Bolt, Kung Fu Panda and WALL-E. And the winner is...WALL-E. Duh. Who could have seen that one coming?

9:08: Wow...those two are still not done. Next up is Best Animated Short Film. Nominees are: Maison en petits cubes, Ubornaya istoriya, Oktapodi, Presto, and This Way Up. And the winner is...La Maison...thing. Whatever. Doesn't matter at all. Typical pretentious French bullshit. Whatever.

9:10: Okay commercial break. Nothing important really playing. It's also fucking balls hot in this room. Stupid hot laptop.

9:15: Daniel Craig and Sarah Jessica Parker. I wonder if she's happy to be happy now too. They're up for Best Art Direction. Nominees are: Changeling, Benjamin Button, The Dark Knight, The Duchess and Revolutionary Road. And the winner is...Benjamin Button. I should just bank on that one winning every fucking award. This is like the goddamn Bourne shit from last year.

9:19: They're not done yet either. Now we have Costume Design. Let's see if we can bank on the period piece trend again. Nominees are: Australia, Benjamin Button, The Duchess, Milk and Revolutionary Road. And the winner is...The Duchess. Badass. I got that one. Finally. God bless period pieces. Even if I will never watch them.

9:22: Right along to Best Makeup. Nominees are: Benjamin Button, The Dark Knight, and Hellboy 2: The Golden Army. And the winner is...Benjamin Button. Like I said, this is one to just kind of bank on for most of them. And the guy has a notecard. Not a bad idea at all! Don't look so happy though.

9:25: Fucking Twilight! Jesus! Kill Robert Pattinson in the FACE. What is he HERE for? Being a total fake vampire shithead for little girls to cream over? Oh...Romance movies in 2008. Figures. *puke* again. Not what I need to see tonight.

9:28: Commercial again. And Josh left with Left 4 Dead. Damn.

9:30: Alright, Best Cinematography. Our presenters are Natalie Portman and Ben Stiller. That's an odd pair. And he's WEARING a BEARD? Whattafuck? Oh! Joaquin Phoenix dig. Awesome. Hahah this is hilarious. And the nominees are: Changeling, Benjamin Button, The Dark Knight, The Reader and Slumdog Millionaire. And the winner is...Slumdog Millionaire. Horseshit. Dark Knight is getting fucked in the ass. Not even the common goddamn courtesy of a reacharound either.

9:36: Commercial. So, I think I should write a movie about a poor kid who becomes addicted to heroin and grows up to be President. Of course, he has to be gay and have AIDS from falling in love with a leper. How does it sound? Oscar bait yet?

9:38: Mmm. Jessica Biel. She needs a more revealing top though. Show your tits! I have no idea what she was out for but it doesn't really matter. She was hot.

9:42: Comedy of 2008. Eh. Okay that was way funnier than I was expecting.

9:45: Wow and here Seth Rogen and James Franco come along with the cinematographer of Saving Private Ryan. Best Short Live Action is up now. Nominees are: Auf der Strecke, Manon sur le betume, New Boy, Grisen, Spielzeugland. Let's see who wins. And the winner is...Spielzeugland. Huh. I haven't heard of any of these. No shit, huh?

9:51: Haha, awesome. Jackman just took a big shot at Obama by sliding past him. And now he's doing a musical piece. Wow. A tribute to the musical. And holy FUCK Beyonce looks hot. Oh my GOD. This is awesome. I'm way impressed by that.

10:01: Alright, presenting for Best Supporting Actor is Christopher Walken, Kevin Kline, Alan Arkin and Joel Gray. The nominees are: Josh Brolin, Robert Downey Jr, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Heath Ledger and Michael Shannon. It's going to be Heath for The Joker or there'll be a riot. And the winner is...Heath Ledger. There has not been an award this easy to project in years. Well done though. He really did earn it. Had he not died though...this would have been very interesting.

10:13: Alright, they did a feature on Documentaries. And now we have Bill Maher...I thought the douchebag factor had already been filled that night. I guess I was wrong. Wow...what an asshole. Fuck him. Okay...nominees for Best Documentary: The Betrayal, Encounters at the End of the World, The Garden, Man on Wire, and Trouble the Water. And the winner is...Man on Wire. Awesome. Got that one. Good job...classy guys.

10:16: Short Subject now. Nominees: The Conscience of Nhem En, The Final Inch, Smile Pinki and The Witness from the Balcony of Room 306. And the winner is...Smile Pinki. Man they went really quickly through that one. Was there something wrong with all of them this year? Or is Bill Maher just a piece of shit? Or is that a rhetorical question? (Answer: Yes).

10:22: Okay, now we're ont to action stuff. Sweet. God, I love action movies. Academy doesn't though. Now we have Will Smith. And we have Best Visual Effects. Nominees: Benjamin Button, The Dark Knight, and Iron Man. And the winner is...Benjamin Button. Fuck. I had that one picked and them changed to Dark Knight. I should have figured. It's the new Bourne Ultimatum.

10:28: Sound Editing nominees: Dark Knight, Iron Man, Slumdog Millionaire, WALL-E, and Wanted. Not important but the winner is...The Dark Knight. Hell yes! Another one for the best movie of the year. Way to go.

10:30: Sound MIXING now. Wow. Nominees are: Benjamin Button, Dark Knight, Slumdog Millionaire, WALL-E, and Wanted. And the winner is...Slumdog Millionaire. Yeah, I wonder what's getting Best Picture this year? Shee-it.

10:33: Wow, Will Smith is still up. Nominees are for Editing and are: Benjamin Button, Dark Knight, Frost/Nixon, Milk and Slumdog Millionaire. And the winner is...Slumdog Millionaire. Again. Shee-it. That one's over the top.

10:36: Ohhhhh that's why the reporter made a joke about Jerry Lewis. Not just he was a doucher. Okay.

10:40: Every time I see this "Extreme Green" lotto commercial, I laugh because I picture it actually being a dude spraying money out of his junk across the room, yelling "Lunch is on me". Funny as hell, man.

10:41: And Eddie Murphy is up. Wow. He's presenting the Jean Hersholt award for honorary whatever. Humanitarian stuff. Jerry Lewis is the winner. Good for him. Good...he's very classy about it. Great speech.

10:49: Okay...now we have the Best Original Score up. It's a medley. And presenting are Zac Efron and Alicia Keys...like I give a shit about either of them. She's way hot though. The nominees are: Benjamin Button, Defiance, Milk, Slumdog Millionaire and WALL-E. Let's see who wins this one. And the winner is...Slumdog Millionaire. Who would have guessed that one? Criminy.

10:55: NOW Best Song. Nominees are: Jai Ho, O Saya, and Down to Earth. They're all actually pretty cool. No lie. And no fucking "Once" indie shit this year either. And the winner is...Jai Ho. Eh. It was still alright.

11:05: Hugh's finally back up again. And now Liam Neeson and Freida Pinto. He's a total badass, she's a cheating bitch. Best Foreign Language film now. Nominees are: Der Bander Meinhof Komplex, Entre les murs, Revanche, Okuribito, and Vals im Bashir. And the winner is...Okuribito. Huh. Not Vals im Bashir. What the hell? That's a pretty big upset.

11:10: Queen Latifah now with the people that have died this last year. I'm sure this is going to be classy and wonderful as it always is.

11:14: Yep. Paul Newman was last, like I was figuring. Great job...but godawful camerawork.

11:17: Wow, Sid Gannis is stepping down. Did not know that. And now Reese Witherspoon is out. Best Director is up. Let's see how this one goes. Nominees are: Danny Boyle, Stephen Daldry, David Fincher, Ron Howard and Gus Van Zant. And the winner is...Danny Boyle. Eh. Should have changed my vote earlier. Whatever. Most of his stuff is shit so...take the win where he can get it I suppose.

11:23: Okay now we're in the homestretch. Best Actress. Let's see who's presenting for this one. We've got...Nicole Kidman, Marian Cotillard, Sophie Loren, Halle Berry and Shirley McLaine. Classy ladies. The nominees are: Anne Hathaway, Angelina Jolie, Melissa Leo, Meryl Streep, and Kate Winslet. And the winner is...Kate Winslet. Fantastic. Finally. Finally. Good for her. Congrats.

11:35: And here we go...Best Actor. Our big name presenters for this one are...Robert De Niro, Anthony Hopkins, Adrian Brody, Michael Douglas and Sir Ben Kingsley. Wow. What a lineup. Those are some really big heavy hitters right now. Wow...but Sean Penn "respectfully" talking to world leaders? Fucking what? Anyways. And the nominees are: Richard Jenkins, Frank Langella, Sean Penn, Brad Pitt and Mickey Rourke. And the winner is...Sean Penn. What. Fucking WHAT? Wow, absolute horseshit. Oh my God. This is the biggest fucking crock I've seen in ever. Wow. Jesus Christ. This makes me fucking sick. Disgusting.

11:47: Now that that horseshit is over...we have Steven Spielberg to present for the Best Picture. I swear to Christ if it's Milk then I'm going to throw up all over the room. And the nominees are: Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, Milk, The Reader, and Slumdog Millionaire. And the winner is...Slumdog Millionaire. That was one that was a definite. There was no chance that it was going to get upset. At least I ended the night on a positive note with my ballot.

And my final tally for the night is...11 out of 24. Not incredibly good, but definitely respectable. Ah well. Maybe I'll be up there someday. We'll see.

Have a good one.
About this Entry
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Feb. 20th, 2009 @ 04:02 pm I love having the place to myself
Current Location: Dorm room, per usual
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: You can guess
There is something supremely satisfying to dancing around the dorm room naked to Loverboy's "Working for the Weekend". That is all.

Have a good one!
About this Entry
1 comment
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Feb. 17th, 2009 @ 11:52 pm So this is what utter failure to communicate looks like...neat
Current Location: Should be asleep but am not
Current Mood: down
Current Music: Photograph - Def Leppard
*bares his back to get flogged mercilessly by angry readers*

So yeah...sorry for not being here for, oh, a fucking MONTH. I was way busy with Bat Boy (insane, intense rehearsal schedule, but the performances were awesome) and I barely had enough time to eat, sleep, crap occasionally and maybe play a round or two of Pocket Pool (a great game if you can find it online). But I'm here and I'm still alive and kicking.

Okay, that's technically true. I am still alive and kicking. It doesn't mean that I'm COOL though. Lately, and this includes during the run of the show as well, it feels like I've just been walking through life. I'll spare you the typical rundown of the bullshit since if you know me and talk to me any level above sporadic, you'll already know and be sick of it.

It's just...I have nothing motivating me anymore. I have nothing to strive for. My grades are going to be good, no matter how little work I put into it. I can't get up off my ass to find a job, like I should. I don't have any girlfriend to keep me company and can't manage the balls to even try to find one, especially not on campus. My creative side is comatose and starting to bleed out. There is NOTHING there that is setting a fire under me, pushing me to go ahead. It's just...blah. Whatever happens happens and has no lasting effect on me. It's one big pile of "Whatever". And it's annoying. Give me that spark, that drive. Let me turn into that ball of pure energy that exists when I find something I love to latch onto. Because this is worse than being crushed - and I reserve the right to kick my ass later for saying that - because being crushed at least means that I threw myself into something and failed miserably at it. When I have nothing to make me feel like I have that passion...it's pretty empty.

/end whiny, bitchy, teenage angsty shit

On a final note before I leave you for the night, I recommend going to http://daneatscatfood.wordpress.com/ . I hear it's a wonderful site populated by the best in the comedy business.

Have a good one!
About this Entry
1 comment
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Jan. 8th, 2009 @ 01:32 am Nappy Yew Hear...wait...damnit!
Current Location: Delaying sleep for a while
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Where Do You Go - No Mercy
Alright, so since this sentence is going to be in the 2009 recap in December, I need to make it witty, urbane, and deep and the best possible way to do that is, of course, to say this: balls. And 2009 opens without a bang, but at least refers to some of the necessary equipment involved therein.

So I only have a couple days left at home before I have to go back to school. Bleh. I'm really not feeling any desire to do anything productive...well...ever. My motivation and drive to do anything other than sit on my ass and fart around on my computer or 360 is entirely dead. I'm definitely not motivated to drink, though...good God, I had a horrific hangover today. One of the worst ideas EVER is to set up a rotation system going beer, tequila, beer, rum, beer, blackout. I spent a good half the day trying not to have my eyeballs burst from my face due to the wonderful Porcelain God Ab Workout that I had to do. Ugh. Fuck booze for right now.

I have to say that I really love haircuts sometimes. Especially this time since I had her cut it shorter than usual. It gets all spiky right out of the shower and it's soft as hell and kind of fun to play with. And yes, I'm a straight male. I just like my hair when it's not long and unwieldy.

Anyways, to the topic at hand. I don't make New Year's resolutions. I don't. If I do, I fail within the week, if not the day. It's not worth the effort to think up something that will die reasonably soon. However...I feel as if I need to make some changes in my life and I don't quite know how to feel about that. Thing is, they aren't so much changes in lifestyle...but changes in mentality and outlook. More specifically...well...okay. It's like this.

If you read this infrequently updated blog, you probably know me pretty well in real life so it should come as no surprise to you when I say that, aside from a disastrous attempt this past September revolving around my DICK thinking for me instead of the big guy under this soft, short hair, I have for the better part of three years been the equivalent of the Antichrist for romance and love. I don't date anyone, I don't flirt with anyone, I don't hit on anyone. I just stay quiet and seethe to myself during those moments where people around me DOING those things is an unavoidable circumstance. Occasionally, usually around September - because my dumb ass likes patterns, apparently - I'll gently test the waters to see if I want to actually grow up and be emotionally stable, find the craziest fucking chick in the bunch, get shredded because I couldn't see I was in a world of shit and withdraw like a fucking turtle into my shell of cynicism, bitterness, resentment, barely concealed anger and massive alcohol consumption. It happens every year, with my anger bottoming out around, take a guess...that's right, Valentine's Day. Or as I like to call it "Single's Awareness Day", "V-D" or "Alright already, stop fucking being cute or I swear to God I will stomp a puppy to death in front of you, you assholes". After that point, I then start to rebuild slowly and surely until around September when I convince myself that I can try again, leading the hellish circle of emotional destruction to begin again.

Now, while this pattern is so greatly entertaining and fun for the whole family and all, it is not, shall we say, gratifying in any way. Oh sure, the flings are fun and I generally manage somehow to snag girls - crazy though they may be - who are a good level or two hotter than I have any right to get...but then October comes and the flings die like the autumn leaves around me, leaving me to sulk for eleven months and brood about growing another year older all alone. Of course, the older I get, the more and more people I know are getting into steady, stable relationships...then engaged...then married. Just this past week, I literally saw five last names change on Facebook. FIVE! That is simply insane. And while I don't envy them signing their lives away far too young...there is always that moment of "What if?" that sinks in which is where the problem, long-winded in being set up, comes in.

I don't want to get married right now. I should probably be incredibly clear on that. I'm not nearly accomplished enough to tie myself down to that, I don't have money to even think about it and I'm, you know, missing the crucial part to that, that being the girl to marry me. And besides, my cynical side is so jaded at this point that I've actually planned out how to handle being left at the altar, just as a precautionary thing. And there's the first piece of this problem. A few nights ago I figured, with good reason, that I should not be involved with anyone right now. I have too many hangups, too many issues and am generally such a miserable cuss that any girl that would have me right now would have to be way, way more fucked up than me just to cope. I'm self-centered, picky, a rabid perfectionist and would sooner slam my boys in a doorjamb then let someone even begin to chip away at the layers of mistrust I have - metaphorically of course - around my sense of being. To put it lightly, the sheer amount of work it would take to get really close to me is comparable to, oh, let's say Michaelangelo sculpting The David...blindfolded...using only his teeth. That is to say, really really loaded.

That's where the other part comes in. No matter how messed up I am, no matter how angry and bitter I am about the whole game and everything that comes with it, no matter how much I love taking the piss out of couples on VD - and I do love doing it...I still want it. I can't fucking escape the fact that I truly, desperately want to have that sense of knowing that there is someone there who cares for me enough to open herself up to me and that I can do the same and not run away in fear. I want to know that I'm still capable of being that sweet, romantic guy, the boyfriend that can get shown off...that I'm not just that pissy dickhead who snorts and spits and bitches about other people being happy. No matter how much I hate the game, how much I dislike having to do that little dance that every potential couple has to do...I have to admit that actually doing it is fun. I like feeling that spark kickstart something in my chest every time I see that girl I like - and no, everyone, there ISN'T anyone - look at me and smile. I turn into a total pussy...and while I hate that me now, that me is really kind of enjoyable at the time. Basically, everything I do my best to shit on daily...I like it. And I miss it. And then it sinks in that I have five months left at OU and any possible use in trying to find that person is just a waste of time and energy because it would have to die before it even really got a chance to grow. And that...that's pretty depressing, honestly. Because that means that I spent my entire college career technically officially single, not exactly an honor that anyone wants to win. While I don't envy those people getting married and having to deal with all that stress...I do envy that connection between them, no matter how much I try to ignore that.

So what does this mean? Truthfully, I don't know. When I said I was getting the feeling that I should change something in my life, this may be it. It may not. Fact is, I don't know how I feel about this whole subject anymore. I don't have that potent venom for it. I've been burned a few times in the past and I have forgiven most of them or at least am doing my best to try to do so. But that white-hot, burning hatred for the whole concept...just isn't there. I don't have the patience for it anymore. And while OKCupid continues to depress the shit out of me while at the same time building some much-needed karma from not being a douchebag to people I really, really, really would never ever ever date...there's still that damnable little grain of hope somewhere buried way down below all the rage that I can't get rid of.

And yes, this was all written entirely sober, so I can't blame this on being blacked out. Damn.

Have a good one!
About this Entry
Leave a comment
Permanent Link